


Chapel of Love

by splash_the_cat



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: F/M, Romantic Comedy, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Wedding Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-01-11
Updated: 2005-01-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 12:59:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,008
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1745525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/splash_the_cat/pseuds/splash_the_cat
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>SG-1 does screwball romantic comedy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Chapel of Love

**Author's Note:**

> For Jerie. If our favorite pair ever did decide to marry, this is how I think it should happen. Many thanks to MV and Karen.

 

The first time they were supposed to get married, she called him an hour before the quiet little ceremony on his deck was supposed to begin.

"Where are you?" He was standing in the middle of the bedroom, juggling his tie, his socks and his cell phone. He gave up on the tie and yelled for Cassie to help him.

_"I, uh... I'm on my way to the SGC, Jack."_

Cassie bustled in the door, threw up her hands at his state of disarray, and tugged at his tie, choking him and knocking him off balance. Distracted by the assault, Jack wheezed, "We're not getting married at the SGC, Carter."

And then he got it and swore, earning a dirty look from Cassie, as Carter said, _"I'm so sorry, Jack. Tell Daniel, Teal'c and Ned that I need them to get to the SGC as soon as possible. It's urgent."_

Jack snapped the phone shut and threw it on the bed. He ducked away from Cassie and yanked the tie off.

"What's happening?" Cassie picked up the tie from where he'd dropped it on the floor, twisting it around her fingers, and followed Jack as he stomped out the door, bellowing for Daniel.

"With my luck, probably the end of the world."

The second time, SG-1 was a week overdue on PCX 753, where SG-12 found them locked in the dungeon of an over-achieving local warlord. SG-9 conducted a diplomatic intervention on their behalf while SG-3 stood by with twitchy trigger fingers.

Jack hung up the phone, General Hollis' apologies echoing in his ear, and the next day he sat down with Hammond and Cassie and they polished off most of the raspberry and dark chocolate wedding cake while Hammond told him every ten minutes that Sam was an excellent commander and she'd bring them all home just fine, and Cassie patted his shoulder every time she went into the kitchen.

The third time, Jack wasn't taking any chances.

He enacted his secret master plan at five in the morning, the Tuesday after Dr. Brightman let her out of the infirmary. She stumbled out of the bedroom while he rummaged through the cushions of the couch.

"Jack?"

"Where's your cell phone?"

She yawned, blinked, and scrubbed a hand through her already rumpled hair. "In my pants pocket, I think."

She was still blinking when he brushed past her, down the hall and into their room. He opened the hamper, pulled out the pants on top of the pile of dirty clothes, and fished the phone out of a pocket.

"Jack?"

Carter was standing in the doorway, alert now; her nose scrunched as she watched him pop the battery out of the phone and pocket it before tossing her the phone.

She caught it, peered at it, then at him. "It's kind of useless now."

Jack grinned. "Exactly." He paused on his way out of the room, cupping her face in his hands and kissing away her puzzled frown. "Now go pack."

"Pack?" She called after him as he headed down the hall and into the kitchen. "For what?"

"Viva Las Vegas, Carter."

 

*****

They were eating lunch in the parking lot of a McDonald's in St. George, Utah, when Carter said, "We're not getting married by Elvis."

Jack licked the last of the salt from his fingers and wiped them on his pants leg. "I have better taste than that."

She raised an eyebrow, lips pursed around the straw in her cup.

"What?"

"Nothing." She slurped the rest of her drink and rattled the ice in the cup. "My turn to drive."

Jack ignored the tiny smile that curled the corner of her mouth, climbed out of the truck and stretched, groaning as his back popped three times. A six hundred mile road trip with Carter had sounded much more enticing before his ass was numb.

The sky was bright and clear, the summer sun already burning the top of his scalp. He breathed the dry desert air in deep, letting his breath out in a sudden huff when hands slid under his shirt and across his stomach, and squeezed gently.

"You know," she said, her breath tickled his ear and her hips pressed snug against his backside, "I think I'd be okay with Elvis."

"I thought you had better taste than that, Carter." When she muffled her laugh against his neck, Jack leaned back into her arms and let the heat bake into his skin.

 

*****

"Close your eyes," Jack said as they passed the "Welcome to Las Vegas" sign at the north end of the Strip. The skyline ahead towered out of the late afternoon haze, a riot of color and shapes against the mountains in the distance.

She did - rolling them first - and fidgeted in her seat. "Are we there yet?"

"Hush, you." He tweaked her knee and then swore and grabbed the wheel as a limousine cut him off.

"I'd like to actually see this big surprise before I die, you know."

"Yeah, yeah." He made a quick left, fumbling with the little map he'd pulled from the internet. "Okay. Out the window to the right."

She raised a brow at him before looking out the window. He slowed, leaning over as she shaded her eyes and her gaze slid up the slick black slopes of the large pyramid that shimmered blindingly in sunlight.

"You are a funny, funny man, Jack O'Neill," she said as he pulled into the parking lot of the Luxor.

 

*****

Carter was sitting on the side of the bed when he opened his eyes and blinked furiously against the bright sunlight washing across his face. She rubbed the heel of her hand across his belly and he grabbed her wrist, dragging her on top of him while she laughed and squirmed.

"I want to go to the pool before it gets too hot." Her breath hitched as he bit at her neck, so he grinned and did it again. "Jack..."

"What, so you can sit under an umbrella and fall asleep?" He followed the line of her collarbone with gentle nips, down to the swell of her breasts. "This is much more fun."

She relaxed, her weight settling heavy and comfortable across his chest and hips. "Oh, fine." Her fingers tugging at the elastic of his boxer shorts. "Sex, then the pool."

It was almost lunchtime when they made it down to the dazzling white and blue pool complex, where Carter dropped her bag on a lounge chair under an umbrella. Jack shoved his hands in the pockets of his khakis and leered as she shed the shorts and tank top she'd put on over her bathing suit.

"Could you try to be a bit more obvious, Jack?"

He executed a crisp about face, and yes, there was Daniel, reclined on a lounge chair a few feet away, reading the brochure for the King Tut exhibit that Jack had seen in the gift shop earlier. And just beyond Daniel was Teal'c, with a hat pulled low over his face.

"What in the hell are you two doing here?"

Teal'c nudged the hat up and peered out from under the brim. "The SGC has been trying to reach Colonel Carter."

"She's on leave." And he glanced over his shoulder at her. "You are on leave, right?"

Carter pulled her sunglasses down, eyes bright and merry over the wire rims. "Fine time to ask that, Jack."

"We told Hollis you were abducted by aliens." Daniel folded the brochure and stuck it in the middle of a thick book on the little table next to him. "I think he actually believed it for a second."

Behind him, Carter snorted. "Cute. I'm going to swim for a bit while you guys work this out."

Jack watched her and her high cut black bathing suit walk away before once again rounding on Daniel. "That still doesn't explain what you're doing here."

"One of the technicians on base tried to contact Colonel Carter. When she did not answer her cellular phone for the second day in a row, and you did not answer yours, we became concerned."

"And then," Daniel tucked his hands behind his head, eyes crinkling as he smirked, "we broke into your house and figured out your nefarious marital plan from the messages the hotel had left on your answering machine."

"That's a great story, and yet, it still doesn't explain what the hell you're doing here."

Daniel and Teal'c exchanged a long look, and Daniel shrugged and pulled the brochure out of the book, waving it at Jack. "I came for the exhibit."

"Right." Jack kicked off his sandals and sprawled in the lounge Carter had claimed. "Just remember. This is my and Carter's deal. There will be no talk about work, and definitely no hanging out."

"Oh, definitely." Daniel cleared his throat. "So. You guys free tonight? I got tickets to Wayne Newton."

 

*****

Carter stretched under his hands, skin slick with sweat, the rapid rise and fall of her chest starting to slow. "I'm glad they're here."

Daniel and Teal'c were not who Jack wanted to think about in his post-orgasmic haze. "This was supposed to be our little getaway, Carter."

"It still is."

"Even with Daniel dragging us off to see Siegfried and Roy's Secret Garden tomorrow, and Teal'c demanding we go to that Star Trek thing with them?"

She chuckled, massaging the hollow of his hip with her thumb. "We should have done this in the first place. The other ceremonies would have been nice, but this, this is more our speed. This is the way it should be."

"You mean tacky and ridiculous?"

Her fingers were now rubbing small circles on the inside of his thigh. "Remind me again why I'm marrying you?"

"You asked me because you are a big sap. And because I'm really good in bed."

Her hand slid a little higher and she murmured, "Oh right," against his lips.

 

*****

"Nervous?"

Jack bounced on the balls of his feet and grinned at Daniel. "Nah." A little disappointed, maybe. The hotel chapel was subdued; the patterned carpet and the pale gold walls and draperies were tasteful and elegant. Jack had been hoping for something a little more along the lines of Apophis' idea of interior design.

Though he figured his little surprise made up for some of the sophistication.

"Samantha Carter." Teal'c's voice pulled his attention to the door. "You look lovely."

And she did, all pretty sundress and wide smiles as Teal'c took her hand and she leaned up to kiss his cheek. Daniel got the same treatment, and Jack just kept grinning as her gaze slid past him into the chapel proper, and her laughter echoed through the room.

She took his arm when he offered it, fingertips cool against his skin. They walked down the aisle together, said their vows to a spangled and red-suited Elvis with a minimum of snorting and snickering, exchanged rings, and after the pronouncement, kissed a little longer than absolutely necessary.

In the chapel foyer, Teal'c popped the cork on the champagne while a staff photographer snapped a few pictures.

"So," Daniel juggled three glasses, handing one off to Jack, then leaning past Jack to hand one to Sam. He clinked his glass against hers. "Valley of Fire tomorrow? We'll need to hit the road early."

Jack choked on a sip of champagne. "What?"

"So we can do some hiking before the worst of the heat kick in." And now Daniel was grinning, or more smirking, and Jack was about to tell him where to shove that idea when Carter said "Jack... " and wrapped her fingers around his.

He rolled his eyes, but squeezed her hand, rubbing at the unfamiliar feel of the ring on his finger. She was right. This was the way it should be.

"Okay, _fine_." He shook his glass at Daniel, the champagne sloshing dangerously close to the rim. "But not before eight, and then we're going to Area 51. I wanna get Thor a postcard."

 


End file.
